Do you hear the nudge?

It’s there.

There’s something you’re being nudged to do, to say, to hear.

What is it?

I find that when I don’t listen to my nudges, I go into anxiety. Instead, I use my mind to “figure it out.”

I think I’m so smart. That I can conquer anything using my mind. (I can’t.)

Don’t get me wrong, we need our minds.

But the mind serves the nudge, the intuition. Not the other way around.

I know it can be confusing to discern between our intuition and our minds.

Intuition is soft and quiet. That’s because intuition is loving. It nudges us in this way that’s like “hey… how about this?” And it’s up to us to accept its suggestion.

The mind is loud. It speaks rudely to us at times, like “You lazy bum, why don’t you do this.”

The mind really doesn’t want to have to be “‘that person,” but we ask the mind to do stuff that it’s not meant to. The mind is great for certain tasks, like help us get to the Newbury Street in rush hour traffic. Or figure out the tip at a restaurant. Stuff like that.

We delegate all sorts of jobs to our mind, when there are other decision-making centers, like our body and intuition. So is it really a wonder our mind gets a little grumpy sometimes when we give it more than it’s meant to handle?

If you’re wondering how to discern if a nudge is your intuition, here are some tips:

• It feels good. Even if fear, worry, nervousness comes in later when your mind begin to think more about it, there is a general positive feeling to the nudge.
• It’s the first thing that pops into your head, in the morning. I’ve found that I am most pure when I wake up because my spirit has just come back to my body, and I haven’t had time to think.
• You ask yourself the intention for the nudge and it is “uncomplicated” and loving. Good chance it is coming from your intuition. Our minds complicate things more than it needs.

It is true that our nudges will get louder over time. That’s because it’s actually really painful to not listen and follow on our intuition.

Our intuition is our connection to our true and highest self. And when we’re cut off from ourselves, we get anxious.

We think anxiety are external factors creating the anxiety, when it’s actually our own selves, knocking harder through our bodies to tell us something.

So it’s best to listen to the nudge. And act on the nudge. It feels good to act on our nudges and our intuition. It’s trying to bring us the joy that is ours to inherit.

This is how we flow with life. This is how we flow with our truest and deepest nature and desires.

Much love to you.

⁠In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

⁠My latest article on Jumble & Flow, “This middle-aged woman’s honest review of Natural Cycles, a non-hormonal birth control app“ has me thinking about science, intuition, rationality, and gut feelings.

Mainly, I believe in all of it. I believe in science. I believe in intuition. I believe in being rational. And I believe in gut feelings.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve pitted intuition and gut feelings against science and the rational, as if both can’t exist together. 

Our society has become one of opposition.

If you’re not for it, you’re against it. If you’re against it, you must not be for it.

Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost nuance. We’ve lost the idea that there is a time and place for opposites. And that life is about the balance of both—Of all.

In the article, I talk about listening to gut feelings. They came through painful menstrual cramps, and eventually felt I needed to listen to my body and go off The Pill. It may be true that there is no scientific evidence that shows that The Pill produces adverse effects and has few side effects for most of the population who takes it. 

As a former research analyst, both qualitative and quantitative, I also know that numbers and percentages give us a helpful birds eye view of a population’s experience, but each person has our own nuance, and we are not just a number. We are individuals with bodies that are all our own. With emotions, feelings, varying environments and situations that contribute to our own personal health, biology and needs.

By choosing to use Natural Cycles, I am not anti-science. I am choosing to use science in a different way. 

This is how intuition and the rational can work together. My intuition tells me I need to make a change. And science gave me a new possibility that uses rational scientific methods to create a new way. We do similar things every day of our lives. We get a feeling — a need, a desire, a “knowing.” And we use our logical minds to make it happen.

As Albert Einstein said “I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.“

It is not anti-science to open up our imaginations. Use our intuition and our gut feelings. It is progress. It is improvement. It propels positive change.

I’ll end this on another Albert Einstein quote: 

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Sending much love.

In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

In my latest article on Jumble & Flow, I wrote about how a coworker came to me in a dream as a spirit. The dream was ethereal, as dreams tend to be. But this was something else. It was like we were in an empty, beautiful void, just the two of us. The energy could only be described as pure love as he took my hand and said, “I want to start a family with you.”

As I go on to say in my article, I woke up from the dream confused. I wasn’t interested in the co-worker, and motherhood was still only a vague question-mark in my mind.

The dream felt so good though, so safe. And it triggered an intense desire in me. My mind questioned the desire, and fear settled in. I shooed away the desire and the seed of Motherhood, the dream was attempting to show me.

It’s been several years later, and now, I am in a relationship with a former co-worker, not the one from my dream. We’re in love and building towards an amazingly spiritual and loving partnership walking towards the possibility of starting a family together. 

I look back on that dream and I can’t help but chuckle. 

The Universe clearly wanted to get my attention. Dreaming is a way The Universe / Guides / Angels / Higher Self etc communicates with us. I look back and can see how The Universe wanted to wake me up to this desire I was suppressing, the desire to walk towards Motherhood.

I look back on the dream, and in some ways, it could be called a premonition, but really it was my Guides trying to steer me in a more aligned direction.

God / The Universe lovingly gives us free will, which means we have the power of choice. We can choose whatever path we’d like, but there are Hopes we had set out for ourselves before we came into our existence in this life. When we walk towards love, we walk towards alignment. 

God / The Universe wanted to remind me of this Hope I had set out for myself, but it didn’t want to ruin the surprise! It wanted to give me clues without telling me exactly what would happen, and so it substituted a different co-worker to get my attention without the surprise of what, where or who exactly. I’ve had this feeling for a while, my person, is an ex-coworker, but I didn’t know who. If we knew all the details of life, that’d ruin the fun! Life is about living it.

People often go to Tarot Readers or Psychics to know the future. Our worry causes us to think we’d be better off knowing the future. There are a few points I want to make about this:

1) The future hasn’t happened yet, so how can we tell it? We have free will, and others have free will. Each choice can spur things to happen one way, or another. So we can’t know if something will happen for certain.

2) If we know the future, we limit our own possibility – When someone tells you the future, they tell you a possible future. When you believe it, you ground into a limited possibility. God / The Universe wants the best for you. It wants more for you than you want for yourself. When we stay open to the unknown, we stay open to possibilities beyond what we fathom. 

3) The Universe wants to surprise you – Again. Ruined surprises are no fun!

We may get dreams, visions, information about the future. But as I’ve experienced it, “future information” is meant to get you to act, in the present. It gives you these potential views into the future as a way to encourage you to align with your soul, usually they’re not easy paths. 

Whether you choose to align yourself and walk that path, is your choice. If you do, be open to the surprise the Universe wants to give you.

⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

I’m developing a new theory.

It’s called the Goldilocks Theory of the Universe.

The Universe wants the best for you.

It wants way better for you than you even know.

But we don’t know what’s possible. We don’t know how good we could have it.

And so, the Universe shows you.

Just like Goldilocks, and the Universe presents you with the Three Bear’s porridge, one at a time.

As a young naive girl, we venture into the forest, and we’re presented with what’s wrong for us. 

The first porridge we try is cold. We may not realize it’s not very good. It’s the only thing we’ve ever had, and so we keep eating the cold porridge. 

Whether this is a relationship, or a job, we’re so glad to have anything to quench our hunger, we may not even realize that cold porridge isn’t that great.

After a while, we realize that maybe something better is out there. And so, we get up the courage to stop eating the cold porridge in search for better porridge.

We move on. And so, the Universe gives us some hot porridge. Having only experienced cold porridge, the hot porridge is appealing, at first! It takes us to the other extreme. The hot porridge wakes up senses we didn’t even know we had. It’s exciting. It’s thrilling. It’s burning our tongue and yet we keep eating.

After a while, the pain of burning our tongue is too much to bear. And so we brave the possibility of never eating porridge again, and go out into the unknown in search for better porridge. 

We’ve learned. 

Cold porridge is bland. Hot porridge is too painful. If any comes our way, we’re not taking it. 

Before the Universe can give us the right porridge we had to experience the extremes. We had to know for ourselves, what we don’t want, some of the qualities that we do want. And to know we deserve better.

Until we say “No, I deserve better” – we will keep getting crap porridge.

If you are unhappy with your porridge, (or job, relationship, etc), the Universe wants you to wake up from it. It wants to give you better. 

But first, YOU have to say no.

It wants to bring you something beyond what your mind can fathom as possible. 

Our Minds create based on past experiences of what we know. 

Our Spirit creates based on all possibilities, beyond what our minds can make up. 

Beyond comprehension. 

To experience Spirit’s gifts, we must trust in it. Trust in letting go of the past. Trust in letting go of what we know. Trust that Spirit will guide us and bring us beyond what and who we thought we can be.

If, and when we do. The Universe brings us the most amazingly delicious porridge in the whole world. Porridge you didn’t even know existed. Porridge that you couldn’t even ask for because  you’d never experienced it before.

And you wonder why you had said yes to the cold porridge, or the hot porridge. 

You wonder why you didn’t allow yourself this amazing porridge sooner.

⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

⁠This post was written on Martin Luther King Jr Day on Monday, January 18th, 2021. The week of President Joe Biden’s inauguration.

Last week, I was spit on.

I was walking down the street, minding my own business when a guy walked near me and spit in my direction.

I didn’t make out what he said, but he said something like “_(?)_, you b*tch!”

I stepped back and said “Hey! What the f*ck!” 

The guy kept walking. 

I was startled and taken aback for a moment. What happened after that, I did not expect.

I immediately went into a prayer.

Honestly, I was surprised myself. 

The prayer was for myself, but it was also for him. For the past year, I have gotten accustomed to praying for the homeless I see on the street. Especially those who seem to be taken by demons. So it seems my prayer mode immediately kicked in.

After my prayer, I noticed something. 

I have been spit on before, and afterwards, I am usually in fear and in shame. But this time, I didn’t feel fear or shame. I was rattled, but this was different. I didn’t shrink.

I don’t know why this person spat at me. I couldn’t make out what he said except for the “You b*tch.” Through this, I could insinuate that he was spewing hate on me because I am a woman. It’s possible. And in the past, my brain most definitely would have gone there.

As I walked pondering about what just happened, I realized that it really didn’t matter why he spat on me. Because my dignity cannot be taken, if I do not have shame within me.

I did not feel shame, because I know I am not shameful.

On this day, it makes me think of all of the brave Light warriors in the Civil Rights movement. All of the hate spewed on them as they staged sit-ins, marches as they fought for their Rights. They were beyond just spit-on.

As Martin Luther King Jr said: “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized, cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” 

As we move into this week. I pray for the world, that we can hold Dr. King’s vision. 

Whatever happens. Remember that our dignity cannot be taken, unless we allow the darkness to do so. 

Remember your Light. Remember your Love.

In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

All of my life, I was fighting to show I was special.

My parents were not the type to tell me I was special, and I didn’t feel special. They thought I would have an ordinary life. Grow up, get married, have kids. 

I resented that this was what they thought I would become, so I rebelled. I envisioned myself as something else.

I set out on a life to show I was special. I became independent. Successful in an analytical career. Going on adventures, eating incredible food locally and around the world. I did enjoy these things, to a certain extent. It certainly fulfilled my ego to show them they were wrong.

I was fighting so hard to show that I am special, that I missed something that was calling out deep inside me, that I was ignoring.

Really, I am quite simple.

In my deepest of hearts, what I really am, is a simple heart.

In a meditation a few months ago, Mary Magdalene showed me this. She invited me to a white chapel. As I looked around, the chapel was small, quaint, filled with light, but not too much. She walked into my little chapel and held my hand.

Mary Magdalene said to me, “Look at this place. This is the place of your heart.”

Inside, there were no signs of the successful career I’d had, or the cool adventures I had been on. Really, there was nothing, but pews, and a table. It wasn’t even decorated. There were two jars representing my beloved late cats, Leo and Paintfoot in the corner. That was it.

I’d been running from my simple heart, my entire life.

Really, I know that deep down, this was what my parents had recognized within me, as a child. It wasn’t a bad thing. I was innocent, and there was part of them that was scared I’d be eaten up by a nasty world. 

I had taken this cue as needing to toughen up. 

And maybe I did. Maybe all of my path was meant to be. 

So that I can come back.

And know the worth of my simple heart.

In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨