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Own up to your part in a relationship (Part 1)

Own up to your part in a relationship (Part 1)

⁠The other person was still an asshole.⁠

⁠The other person was still manipulative.⁠⁠

The other person was still a jerk.⁠⁠

The other person was still violent.⁠

⁠But we create the story that this was done to us, and we have no power.⁠

THAT’s the story. THAT was the belief. When we were, or are, going through it.⁠

At any point, we can / could make the choice to leave. To put a stop to it. To say no. To set boundaries.⁠

But as the adage goes… it takes two to make a relationship.⁠

What happened with YOU, in that relationship?⁠

Could it be, that you wanted someone else to love you, so much so, that you ignored your own power? ⁠

That’s the part we own. ⁠

The times when we didn’t act. ⁠

⁠Who we were in the relationship. ⁠

How we reacted in response.⁠

The times we ignored the love that we have for ourselves, for the sake of wanting and grasping for… that feeling of being loved and cared for by another.⁠⁠

Even though they go to extremes to show you otherwise as well.⁠

Instead of self-love, we embodied self-hatred. We put ourselves through misery.⁠

When we own what we didn’t do, we free ourselves.

Love yourself, ya’ll

In gratitude, Bonnie
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2020-08-28T03:33:21+00:00Tags: , , |

Ignoring your ego is self-deception

Ignoring your ego is self-deception

As Lightworkers, Spiritual Seekers or “Good People” – however you identify, we often suppress our ego. 

Like a dog that’s stolen a bone, we tell it “NO!” We tell it “Bad dog!” or “Bad ego!” 

We feel it wanting to come up to the surface. It wants to say something, but we don’t allow it a voice.

We think: We must be humble. We must be positive vibes. We must have gratitude. When we’re in that energy, and feeling that, then that’s cool. This is not what our life composes of 100% of the time. This is also not the goal of life.

There are times in our life when we come upon situations when our ego wants to come to the surface. 

When you feel that ego urge, let it speak. When we let the ego speak, we uncover a part of ourselves that is really hurting. We need to allow that hurt to have a voice. That hurt can hold your heart’s true desire hostage… until your hurt is heard, we cannot access the deep desire, or love, or joy that is buried within. 

I for one, have most of my life tried to bury my ego. I didn’t want people to think I am a bad person. I hid behind a veil of humility. It’s not that I didn’t have any humility, but I used my humility to not see that I have an ego-side as well. I was only deceiving myself.

So if your ego wants to speak, let it speak. Give it room to speak. It may speak only to you. It may even speak to someone else. If we let it speak softly, then it can come out with gentleness, instead of being pushed out in anger. 

An Incantation:

Please God / The Universe / Higher Self. I honor my ego. To honor my ego is to honor my pain. Help me release that within me that wants to keep the ego in a cage. Give me the strength to listen to my ego, so that I can heal.

⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
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2020-08-28T03:31:29+00:00

Anxiety vs Nervousness

Anxiety vs Nervousness

⁠We’ve all heard the saying “follow your joy.” What we sometimes forget is to unfollow our anxiety.⁠

Our bodies are intuitive systems built to communicate information to us. When we feel anxiety, often,  it’s our body telling us we’re going the wrong way. Anxiety is frequently a bodily response, to when we make ourselves do things we don’t want to do.⁠

There is a difference between anxiety and nervousness. Nervousness is a different feeling. This feeling comes when we are doing what we want, but there is a bit of fear that comes in when doing something we’ve never done before, have fear we’re going to screw it up, etc etc. ⁠⁠

Nervousness tends to be quieter. You feel the connection to your heart, and you know you want to do it. You know it is right for you. But there is this tinge that hits on old limiting beliefs, but there is a deep desire to persevere.⁠⁠

Anxiety is loud. It is the manifestation of the statement “I don’t really want to do this, but I am going to force myself to do it.” Sometimes we mix up the concept of anxiety with nerves. We think that we’re feeling this way because we don’t believe in ourselves enough, and so if we just keep pushing and pushing, we will eventually enjoy what we’re doing.⁠

In our society, we don’t give ourselves enough permission to not do things. Whether it’s social anxiety – giving yourself permission to not go to the party, and accepting that you’re just not a party person. Or giving ourselves permission to not go after certain ambitions, because it’s simply not who we are. ⁠

We feel anxiety and we think we have to be brave. We have to tough it out without realizing that some things are not for us, or of us.

So please, follow your joy. But don’t forget, to also unfollow your anxiety.⁠

In gratitude, Bonnie 

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2020-08-28T03:34:10+00:00Tags: , |

Dialogue with your heart

Dialogue with your heart

In quarantine, we may be feeling very lonely. Many of us, when we feel lonely, we may call up a friend and see if they want to grab a coffee. Or, we may even go to a cafe on our own just to be around people, to feel like we’re not so alone in the world.⁠

Without the option of doing these things, it’s easy to feel lonely. And you may feel trapped in your loneliness. If this is you, I feel for you. ⁠

I truly believe one of the gifts of the current times is for us to connect with our heart. Your heart wants to talk to you. It wants you to know your own true desires. It wants you to stop asking others to distract you or give you advice, when what it comes down to is what you really want in your heart.⁠⁠

Most questions we ask others, are things we should be asking ourselves.⁠⁠

For many, this new way of being is very uncomfortable. We often ask others for their opinion because we want permission from others, to tell us it’s okay to feel how we feel. When the permission we should be gaining is our own.⁠⁠

When you dialogue with your heart, you are not only hearing what it has to say, but you are making a commitment to yourself to be one with your true desires. It is a way of talking to God / The Universe / Your Higher Self. If you are uncomfortable with the concept of talking to God / The Universe / Your Higher Self, try this instead. ⁠⁠

Talk to your heart. Pray to your heart. Socialize with your heart.⁠

⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
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2020-08-28T03:35:03+00:00Tags: , |

What does it mean, to Surrender?

What does it mean, to Surrender?

The word Surrender is sometimes misinterpreted. Some imagine signing over their life to church, to “god”, to some guru who wants to make you his 12th wife. If this is happening to you, please call the FBI (!)⁠⁠

To surrender is quite simple, but not easy. ⁠

To surrender is to let go of all possible outcomes. ⁠

To surrender is to let go of any control. ⁠⁠

To surrender is to free ourselves from the burden of control.⁠

To surrender is to trust so much in ourselves and the Universe, that we do not force things to happen.⁠⁠

This does not mean we cannot have desire, or take action. It does not mean we do not speak our truth when something needs to be said. ⁠

It means, we have the desire, we wish it for ourselves, then we let it go.⁠⁠

It means, we speak our truth, tell someone how we feel, then, we do not control their thoughts.⁠

It means, we take action, then trust that whatever the Universe brings back to us is for our best and highest good.⁠

When we control, we think we are being careful by controlling. But control is actually a burden. When we do not surrender, and instead we choose to control – we think and think and think. And we get more and more and more anxious. ⁠

The mind cannot handle it. It cannot fathom all the possibilities the Universe can provide to us and for us.

When we let go of it all, we also open to it all.

Free your heart. Free your mind. Surrender.⁠

An Incantation for Today:⁠

Please God / The Universe / Higher Self. Help me surrender. Help me let go of any need to control, all possible outcomes and to know that any outcome I receive is for the highest good for me and all involved. ⁠

⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
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2020-08-28T03:35:58+00:00

Tell the Universe what you will put up with

Tell the Universe what you will put up with

When I was younger, I remember thinking often, “This is fine until something better comes along.” ⁠

This would apply to many parts of my life. Career, love, and even friendships. I would think, this isn’t entirely what I want, but this is fine.⁠

I didn’t realize how powerful my words and actions were. I didn’t know that when I say “no” or “yes” – I am saying no or yes to what I am willing to put up with. If “fine” is what you say to the world, then “fine” is what you will get. ⁠

For many of us, saying “no” is hard. We take what life gives us because we didn’t know there was any other way of living. ⁠

We may have to say “no” many times. Each time we say “no” we leap into the unknown. And each time, we tell the Universe, “No, because I deserve better.”⁠⁠

The Universe may give you another, and another. And each time, you may need to say “No, because I deserve better.” ⁠

You may not even know what a “yes” is exactly. ⁠⁠

And one day, the Universe will give and say to you – “Thank you for telling me what you do not want. And will not put up with. How about this?” ⁠

And your heart will beam with joy, and you will say, “Yes. This is what I deserve. Thank you.”⁠⠀

In gratitude, Bonnie 

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2020-08-28T03:36:50+00:00Tags: |

Let yourself cry

Let yourself cry

Are you feeling sorrow? ⁠

Are you feeling helpless? ⁠

Are you feeling guilty?⁠

In these troubled times, many of our 4th and 5th chakras are feeling like there is a huge frog in there. Our 4th heart chakras are breaking, and at the same time feeling guilty and helpless. ⁠⁠

On the otherhand, our 5th communication chakras are unsure what to say. There is something in there that wants to be said, but should we say it? What if I say the wrong thing? ⁠

Perhaps you feel like crying.⁠

Then, cry. Let the emotion out. Don’t question why you are crying. Just cry.⁠

The energy around us is thick with emotion. It permeates us and we don’t understand it. ⁠

We don’t need to have a reason to cry. The emotions want out. ⁠

After your cry, you may want to get yourself an ice-cream. Or a cookie. ??⁠⁠

Give yourself permission to have a good cry sesh.⁠

Sending love and light.⁠

In gratitude, Bonnie 

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2020-08-28T03:37:33+00:00Tags: , , , |

Can you open to receiving?

Can you open to receiving?

In these C19 times, giving and receiving is a big lesson.
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Some of us have to ask for help, which is hard. We are exposing our needs to each other, revealing that perhaps we don’t have it as together as we try to portray to the world.⁠
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Consider though, behind all of that is the concept of receiving. Most people have an easy time giving, but when it comes to receiving, it is much harder. ⁠
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When we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we are actually putting up a wall around us. That wall is a defense mechanism for shame, guilt, remorse that we don’t want others to know about. Behind that wall, we may even keep a narrative that blames others, as an excuse to not connect with others on a deeper level.⁠
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To receive from others is to truly connect with another. To recognize in someone their true kindness, and allow them to shine their kindness onto you.⁠

This can be really, really hard.

I for one, fear that I owe something back to them. This is mostly my projection as a way to skirt what is truly scary. To actually connect so deeply with another. It is truly a vulnerable act when we allow someone else to connect with us in this way.
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It’s scary for us to go that deep. This deep connection is love. Allowing yourself to receive is in actuality to LOVE YOURSELF. Many people have trouble with self-love. That is why it’s so hard to receive.⁠
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I encourage anyone who may be having trouble with receiving to let yourself ‘say yes’ to receiving. Whatever it may be. Even if you are not in dire need of anything. This is a big lesson for us at this time.⁠
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For anyone interested in this Incantation:⁠
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Please God / The Universe / Higher Self. Help me open my heart to receiving and connecting with others. Help me release any fears or past-time blame patterns I may want to hold on to at this time. Let me be open to seeing and accepting the kindness and Light within others.⁠
⁠
In gratitude, Bonnie
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2020-08-28T03:38:25+00:00Tags: , , , |
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