Trigger Warning: This is a reflection of my own experience, take what resonates and leave the rest. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel, that includes being angry at the other person (which I was for many years). I invite you to go to the Permission Wishing Well, and give yourself permission to be where ever it is you are at. 

See Part 1 here: Own up to your part in a relationship (Part 1)

⁠“He brought out the worst in me.”

“He made me become a person I hated.”

“I became the worst version of myself.”

He was an asshole. But I was an asshole too.

We can get into an argument about who is a bigger asshole. But that would only be an excuse for my actions, which I am ready to take responsibility for.

“He brought out the jealousy in me.”

“He brought out the hatred in me.”

“He brought out the manipulativeness in me.”

But, it was in me.

I may not had known it at the time, but I had a choice. I let those emotions overwhelm me. And I did what I did. 

I also said terrible things.

I also did terrible things.

I was playing the game, just as he was. And I convinced myself of my innocence.

At the time, I didn’t know it, but my emotions were trying to get my attention. All the anger from all of my life was pent up; I had kept my feelings shut out from myself my entire life. I was trying to keep them in check by pretending everything was okay even as we emotionally abused each other.

Now, I see what happened.

I take ownership for also being an asshole.

I did unloving things to hurt another person.

I did unloving things to another, to hurt myself.

Instead of self-love, we embodied self-hatred. We put ourselves through misery.⁠

When we own what we did, we free ourselves.

Love yourself, ya’ll

In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨

⁠The other person was still an asshole.⁠

⁠The other person was still manipulative.⁠⁠

The other person was still a jerk.⁠⁠

The other person was still violent.⁠

⁠But we create the story that this was done to us, and we have no power.⁠

THAT’s the story. THAT was the belief. When we were, or are, going through it.⁠

At any point, we can / could make the choice to leave. To put a stop to it. To say no. To set boundaries.⁠

But as the adage goes… it takes two to make a relationship.⁠

What happened with YOU, in that relationship?⁠

Could it be, that you wanted someone else to love you, so much so, that you ignored your own power? ⁠

That’s the part we own. ⁠

The times when we didn’t act. ⁠

⁠Who we were in the relationship. ⁠

How we reacted in response.⁠

The times we ignored the love that we have for ourselves, for the sake of wanting and grasping for… that feeling of being loved and cared for by another.⁠⁠

Even though they go to extremes to show you otherwise as well.⁠

Instead of self-love, we embodied self-hatred. We put ourselves through misery.⁠

When we own what we didn’t do, we free ourselves.

Love yourself, ya’ll

In gratitude, Bonnie
💜🌈🌞✨